Hot Christian Sex

Ok… sorry about the title but after reading a recent secular “study” on individuals who left various sects of Christianity and thus found more enjoyment in their sex lives I feel the great need to write on something that is very near and dear to my heart (I am still a newlywed after all)- the powerful truth about sex and Christian sexuality.

So the study looked at people over 18 that had left Mormonism, Jehovah Witnesses, Baptist, Pentecostalism, and Catholocism and now claimed to be agnostic or atheists. Via a huge online survey these individuals rated their guilt resulting from sexual experiences and said that they enjoyed it much more after they had left religion. However, this “research paper” failed to compare it’s data to those who had NOT left Christianity to be fair. It also failed to mention why the individuals felt guilty having sex. In other words – it did not clarify if they were guilty because they were sleeping around before or after they left Christianity, or if they felt guilty because they were simply enjoying their married sex, were they married at all? I don’t know… The study seems very biased, ignorant, and slanted with an agenda of “Organized religion causes unnecessary guilt, and atheists have all the fun!”

In a report on abcnews about the research was the following quote:
“Today, he has finished research that he said bore out his hypotheses — that religion and good sex don’t mix.”
If by “religion” he means Biblical Christianity than he is flat our wrong, if you want to understand why I believe this read this blog.

So if you’re not married.. or dating.. or engaged.. don’t worry, this won’t be awkward in fact I encourage you to read this post anyway if you have even an inkling of desire to get married one day (even if it is while watching Twilight). The reason I am writing this blog is because based on that secular study (as wack as it was) there seems to be a lot of guilt about good sex within the Christian married populace as well as a lack of understanding of what God had in mind for sex (that it can be good at all!). I just hate that the secular world is the only source of education and explanation about sex for our Christian teens and young adults. I don’t like that. So I want to try to educate my Christian friends and readers on what I have learned about sex and the Bible.

What Does The Bible Have To Say About Sex?

“A LOT!”

First of all, let’s get the basics down and agreed upon:

1. God invented sex for us to procreate AND to enjoy (or else why would it be so much fun?).

  • Gen 1:28 – Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the …”
  • Gen 2:24 – Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
  • Sex itself is a picture of our intimacy and connection to God, bearing fruit through relationship, and His love for us.
  • Sex is a private bond that helps hold a married couple as one, it is part of God’s plan for marriage.
  • There is an entire book of the Bible dedicated to romantic, creative, marital love making (Songs of Solomon). Shouldn’t that be a clue to us as to the importance of sex and the private exploration of it within marriage?

2. Sex outside of or before marriage is a sin.

  • 1Cor 6:18 – Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
  • 1Th 4:3 – For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;
    1Th 4:4 – that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,
  • Hbr 13:4 – Marriage [is] honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

3. Sex inside marriage is not a sin.

  • Sex in marriage is not lust since you are one. When you desire your wife it’s not desiring another woman as Jesus warned about in Matthew 5.
  • Have you even read Songs of Solomon!? It’s pretty dang sexy, if what they did was a sinful or too carnal for a Godly marriage than it would not have taken up one entire book of the Bible.
  • Pro 5:15 – Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well.
    Pro 5:18 – Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
    Pro 5:19 – [As a] loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.
  • 1Cr 7:3 – Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
    1Cr 7:4 – The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband [does]. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife [does].
    1Cr 7:5 – Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

4. Enjoying sex and exploring sex within marriage is not sinful nor should it lead to guilt.

  • Sex cultivates intimacy, intimacy is the heart of marriage, marriage is a picture of our covenant and relationship with God.
  • Hbr 13:4 – Marriage [is] honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
  • As long as it is private and agreeable by both the marriage bed is not defiled.

Why Christians Should Have The Best Sex.

So as a Christian you 1. have an intimate link to the creator and designer of sex unlike the unbeliever. As a married person you 2. should grow to appreciate the example it presents of our intimate link to our God, unlike the unbeliever. Also, 3. the married Christian should prefer their spouse above them self which makes the whole thing work and become even more enjoyable. The Church over the last 2,000 years has done a terrible job educating their congregations and young people on what sex really is, the purpose and spirituality of it. I think pastors are uncomfortable with the topic (perhaps because their sex life is not where they’d like it to be??) and so the only mentions of sex and sexuality we hear from the pulpit are ones concerning how sinful and dirty and destructive sex outside of marriage is. For those who grew up in Church they normally don’t hear much about “holy sex” (sex inside marriage) but only “sinful sex”. This is terrible because then we erroneously conjure unnecessary guilt and shame concerning marital sex the same way we did with premarital sexual activities or thoughts. This ought not be.
Problems often enter the “marriage bed” when past experiences remain in ones mind or conscience. This is why sex before marriage is a sin: because marriage is for life and any previous experiences or mistakes carry in to your marriage to some degree and effect your marriage in a negative way. In this scenario the person who has sinned sexually in their past needs to understand the depth of God’s forgiveness of their sin (1John 1:9) and work on not letting guilt or embarrassment defeat them (Rom 8:1, 1Cor 5:17). Along with this person overcoming their past by God’s grace their spouse needs to be understanding and help them through any hurdles that may arise.

6 thoughts on “Hot Christian Sex

  1. Great article Daniel! Marriage – and especially sexuality within it – is a picture, an earthly manifestation, of the spiritual intimacy God wants with us. I tell people that ‘good married sex is spiritual warfare’: because it solidifies the marriage and creates unity with both spouses AND God. “A threefold cord is not easily broken”.

    In our colonial era, even the marriage vows reveal something very true but foreign now to us now: “With my body I thee worship..”. Married sex is the closest thing on earth to an individual worshiping another, and it was GOD’S idea!

    The shrinking of the Western nuclear family is partially a result of an upset in normal married sexuality. The women’s lib movement, while attempting to impart more equality for women, mostly resulted in de-valuing women…and made sex cheap and mundane. Many marriages today are little more than two roomies sharing a house. Some ‘liberation’! Hopefully, this article will open some eyes and help believers restore their marriages.

  2. Daniel you did a really good job on this post. Really good information, well thought out, easily portrayed in the midst of controversy over the subject. Really well done. I may actually have to use this sometime when talking about this with the students. Hope you are doing well man.

    • Thank you Rick! Nice to hear from you. I just hope this material can lead to freedom in an area where freedom is needed and healthy. There’s so many newly wed’s with great hearts and they love God and their spouse but they are so bound up by fear or religion or even sin and because their intimacy is wounded their marriage suffers too. It doesn’t have to be that way.

  3. Great job on the article. Thank you for using scripture based evidence for your arguments. I will make sure to share this information with my children when the time is right!!

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